What is shadow work?

Shadow work is a way to process your inner issues. To deal with the monster inside your head, so to speak. 

But before we get into this further: Please be aware that shadow work is not a replacement of therapy. It is not meant as a solution to serious mental issues. When dealing with serious issues, like for instance trauma or addiction, please consult a mental health or other specialist that can help you with this. A proven step-by-step program can help you deal with the heavy stuff.

Let’s get back to what shadow work contains. Everyone has sides of themselves that they don’t like.

It can be:

• the way you react to someone, because of how they makes you feel,
• the way you judge others or yourself,
• caring about someone’s opinion a bit too much,
• trying to get someone to praise you for what you have done, 
• looking up to someone and trying to follow their footsteps in everything,
• the way you always seem to fall back into the same habit, that you would like to change
• the procrastination that keeps you from achieving what you have set out to do. 
• reflecting on what has been or reflecting on what might be.

All kinds of situations where there’s one major connection: self love.

Why would you do shadow work to ‘start loving yourself more’?

• You can learn to give yourself all of the things that you truly need emotionally.
• You can learn to recognise your true needs, desires, dreams and also acknowledge these. Dare to speak them out loud. Dare to be yourself in every possible way. Accept yourself in all aspects. The good, the bad and the ugly.
• You don’t have to feel dependant on anyone, because you will learn to recognise that each one of us have our own qualities.
• You can still be together, work together, do things together, but now there’s no unhealthy imbalance between you. Because everyone is equally unique. Everyone contributes in their own way. Of course you can choose to divide tasks unequally, but when the differences are too great the imbalance will return in another way.
• You don’t have to keep repeating cycles that give you pain, make you feel bad in any way.
• You will become conscious of the things that are precious to you or that you need to let go of because it doesn’t feel right anymore.
• When you learn to love yourself unconditionally then you truly have something precious to share with everyone you interact with.

Shadow work can help you find those areas that you aren’t satisfied about yet and why that is. There are many different ways to do shadow work.

Where to start?

• This website ‘The Desire Sanctuary’ is based on finding an emotion that you need to work on, by choosing through colors and then symbols. In the future it will most likely be expanded with extra options. The music in the playlists can help you with alternative views on what you are facing.
• Ask yourself questions and getting answers through using your body as a pendulum.
• Dreams: Before going to sleep say to yourself that you will remember the important dreams when you wake up. In the morning: Write your dreams down as soon as you wake up. Ask yourself questions about the meaning and symbolism (or do research online).
• Health: the body parts or body systems that are out of balance can provide valuable information about what needs attention. Research Tradition Chinese Medicine (TCM) with the specific problem. 

The courage to change

Yes, it takes courage and time to look at: yourself, your actions or in-actions, your feelings, your past experiences, your history, that of your ancestors, the way you want to sculpt or create your future. One step at a time. You can do all of this at your own pace. Just keep putting one step in front of the other. And when you need a break, take it.

When you need help, reach out for someone to guide you temporarily, until you feel confident enough to doing it yourself again. Never give away your rights to decide about your own life. These are all acts of self-love.

Questions about doing shadow work:

• But what if I feel disconnected from everything? Then you can use music to reconnect to your emotions.
• Why would you want to reconnect to something painful or reoccurring? So you can deal with it in a constructive way.
• If there are more questions about shadow work in general, please use the contact-form to let me know and I will do my best to answer if I can.

Warning:

If you’re scared, this is a warning of overwhelm. When it gets too much: stop immediately. Don’t try to push through, this is self-harming. Looking into your shadows is bound to be uncomfortable, but not to scare you into dissociation or any other kind of survival instincts.

“Don’t believe every thought you have.” – Wayne Dyer

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Possible helpful tips for when you start to feel uncomfortable:

• Do grounding & breathing exercises: Examples: Breathe in through your feet. Breath out through your head, or breathe out through the different chakra areas (if you know where they are). If you have physical pain somewhere, then breathe out through the pain area(s). This way you energetically send energy to those areas and you help your body in the self-healing.
• Go out in nature.
• Pay attention to the little things.
• Dancing and singing can help too.
• Write everything down. Sometimes the greatest insights come after writing down what is bothersome. 
• Look for signs from your inner guidance: Dreams, songtunes or lyrics in your head, double or triple numbers (you can research these online).
• Fantasize about your ideal future.